I've heard many, many times from many, many different men that PMS is basically made up. Either it's an excuse for women to act like a MegaBitch or blown out of proportion for women to have something to complain about or so we feel sorry for them. While there are extreme cases of women who over exaggerate and ruin it for the rest of us, PMS is a real, true, freaking painful time in a woman's life. We cry at a commercial of a baby (that isn't a sad commercial at ALL), we double over clutching our abdomen for 10 seconds at a time and then are fine for hours, we're pissed off about not fitting into the jeans we wanted to wear that day, and we can BLOW UP at you because you are unwrapping our chocolate bar the wrong way. It's crazy. And it may seem like we're being unreasonable. It's because we are. But we also know we're being unreasonable.
For the record though, just because a woman is pissed off or acting irrational does NOT mean she's on her period. Take it from a fairly reasonable woman... do not ever, EVER assume the chick is on her period. Maybe you're just being an asshole.
Let me break it down for you men...
Cramps.
-Imagine holding all your farts in for a week, and then laying on your stomach. The only way I can describe it is a twisting, throbbing, hot, dull pain that will not cease unless you medicate yourself or wait for it pass. If you stretch out, it hurts. If you push on the area, it hurts. If you walk too fast, it hurts. There's no winning.
Mood swings.
-We don't know why. We do get true mood swings. Some are worse than others, some women's are worse than her friends. It varies. But imagine eating a burger when you are famished and in fact biting into warm tuna. You would be pretty pissed, right? Imagine how you would feel if someone turned off the game right as someone was going to score? (Check this Jimmy Kimmel vid out if you're one of those...) Do you know what something like that feels like? Got it? Okay, now imagine you're driving on the highway and your wife says "you got something on your pants, babe" and immediately, without warning, you get the feeling that she just called you the most ugly, incompatible, incompetent, goofy-looking person on the planet and then turned off your TV. Yes. That's how it is, and that's how sudden and unpredictable mood swings come on for us.
Bloating.
-You know that feeling you get after eating WAY too much at dinner? And with beer, it's just over-the-top full? That's kind of what bloating is like. Except we didn't eat a lot and we can't take accountability for not fitting into our cute skinny jeans that make our ass look amazing.
Cravings.
-During that terrible week before, we're short on Magnesium. Chocolate has magnesium. Hence, we crave chocolate. We could get it other ways, like a supplement or in our normal diet. But chocolate tastes so good and it has higher levels of magnesium. If you've never had a craving as bad as a woman's, imagine someone taking your favorite food (let's go with a delicious steak) and they cook it in front of you, wave it in front of your nose, and let you lick it once, but not eat it. Not one bite. Your mouth is watering, you can imagine what it would feel like to bite into it, chew it up, taste all the herbs, the juices, but you can't. You aren't allowed. THAT'S a craving. It sucks. The thing about men having a craving or being tempted is that it can be satisfied with a good meal of what you are craving. It doesn't work like that for women. It's not satisfied easily. Hence the stuffing-the-face-with-as-much-chocolate-as-the-eye-can-see.
Now for some proof.
My co-worker showed me this a few days ago while we were talking about this kind of thing. It's scientifically proven that women are prone to feel these fluctuations more than men do... because apparently MEN HAVE THE SAME HORMONAL CHANGES! Who knew?!
Ok what the HELL does this mean?
It means the week before our period, our Estrogen, Testosterone (not shown), and Progesterone plunge. (Look at 22-28) All women vary on this kind of chart. One may plunge, and the next may simply dip down. Either way, they go down. And the change in the hormones tends to make us uberbitches for that week. We can't help it. Blame our ovaries.
I hope this helps explain to some men who think that PMS is psychological and made up by society. I'm not looking for sympathy for women, breakfast in bed, Pamprin on a silver platter, or anything like that... just understanding and patience that our PMS complaints are not usually made up (some bitches just ruin it for the rest of us). Once we get through that week of crying at a Zyrtec commercial, driving 15 miles to the nearest Walgreens for the "good" chocolate, and complaining that NOTHING FITS OUR FAT ASSES, we're our normal complicated selves again.
Now someone explain to ME why we as women are punished for not getting pregnant.
Seriously.
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