My relationship with food has been a really rocky one, as many of you know by now. I don't keep it a secret because it's a part of me. Pardon the cliche but it has helped shape who I am today, for better or worse.
When I was 18 I developed an eating disorder and lost about 20 pounds in just a few weeks, and my relationship with food has struggled ever since (too much, too little, too this, too that...) About a year ago I developed a slue of food allergies. I've gone from not wanting to eat anything to eating so much I couldn't taste the food and had to nearly crawl to my bed. Because of my experiences, I want to educate others about how to treat their sweet, beautiful, powerful bodies. So this current journey to personal health has not only been a very physical one, but it is having a profound affect on me mentally and emotionally too.
My Health and Wellness B.S. degree has taught me a vast amount of information about how to take care of your body, how to spread healthy living principles, and how to create our own mental well-being and the importance of living in a low stress environment. But turning those hours of lectures and notes and research onto yourself is more difficult than you would think.
Eventually, I got almost total control of my food relationship for a few years. It was amazing. And I felt so free. I can't wait to be back there.
When my food allergies hit last February, I felt like I had completely lost control. I had no choice over what I could and could not eat. Everything hurt. I gained weight, I had to stop exercising, my asthma got so bad I'm on a steroid, dance was put on the back burner, and my fitness level has plummeted to a point where I get sore from yoga; something that used to bring me inner calmness and peace and prayer and wonderful introspective time.
When I started this NAET treatment, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit skeptical. Even though I was brought up in an incredibly holistic environment, seeing a chiropractor at 2 weeks old and always seeing a naturalist before a western doctor, this new technique seemed kind of far-fetched even for me. But when I read the incredible amount of positive testimonials, saw multiple doctors practicing the same technique, and did a lot of research about this very eastern-based medicine, I knew that it was my only option of complete recovery. I had to give it a chance.
The first food that they desensitized me too was egg. I was told by another doctor that after seeing my blood test results I probably wasn't going to be able to eat the extreme-sensitivity food ever again. This included cows milk, mushrooms, eggs, gluten, and yeast, among others.
Of course when I stayed away from all of these foods, I felt immensely better. I would go weeks without having the slightest hint of an allergic reaction and then BOOM. I would accidentally eat something wrong and be sick for hours to days.
And yesterday I ate an egg. I ate a cage free, organic, vegetarian fed egg.
It wasn't the whole egg actually, it was maybe a tablespoon of egg white
and a teaspoon of yoke.
I stared at the pure white little slimy jiggly thing sitting in the Ramekin on my counter. I knew that I very well could be making myself sick by eating this stupid little hard-boiled egg.
But after the first 20 minutes I felt fine ... and eventually I realized three hours later I felt fine.
No reaction.
I ate a freakin' egg.
To someone without food allergies or sensitivities, this feeling cannot be described. This egg, this little protein ball opens so many doors and gives me so much hope.
My life has been changed by this whole experience. (The allergies, not the egg...) I hope that I'll be able to look back and see that my life has changed positively by this, as difficult as it may be right now. As I'm typing this, I'm looking at how bony, skinny, and dry my hands are - not enough fat. Not enough protein. Not enough of the right nutrients. They look aged. Tired. My whole body is tired. And it shows in my hands. Go figure.
The past 15 months has been a very rough road for me but I am still looking forward to this next year. I know that whether straight or curvy, bumpy or smooth, gravel or asphalt, my road will present lessons that will lead me to live a more fulfilling, easier, happier life.
Roads are funny like that. If we know where we are going, the ride won't seem as intriguing. If we sit back, feel every bump, every unexpected curve, and enjoy the view, we will find something so innate, so primal in ourselves that we often forget to harness.
Trust.
Trust in ourselves. God. The road. The Universe. Trust that we will be okay.
Our paths will give us incredible life-changing experiences. Whether fun or painful, we will look back at the crazy, ever changing road knowing that we are ahead of it all and that life continued, no matter how difficult it was to go through.
I am so painfully, wonderfully, desperately
excited to finally feel better.
And there's no price you can put on feeling well.
One step at a time. One day at a time. Hell, even one minute at a time.
I am taking this particularly sharp and bold curve with confidence that I will get through it fearlessly, seamlessly, and with my eyes wide open, ready to take in the view at the other side.
